|'What could have been his
He stood at the window, looking at the city he loved so much. The
sight always filled him with a strange sense of excitement and hope.
He felt the blood surging in his veins in the way only New York can
make it surge. The city made him feel young, vibrant and alive and
his dreams were as boundless as the expanse of its deep blue sky.
He saw the aircraft only when it turned. He stared at it, unable
to move, transfixed, frozen...
They say your entire life passes in front of your eyes in fast
motion in the split second before you die. What could that reel have
shown him? What could have been his thoughts?
Would he have seen his parents holding his hand when he first
Would he have seen his mother holding him when he had fallen from
his first cycle and hurt himself?
Would he have seen the pride and joy in his parents' eyes when he
came home from school with his first report card?
Would he have seen his mother picking him up from school each and
every day, covering him with her raincoat while she got wet,
shielding him from the sun with her umbrella while she got burnt,
wrapping him in her coat while the snow pelted her, keeping awake in
the other room when he was studying for those exams, willingly
throwing herself in the way of every danger, protecting him from
everything that hurt her, in every way, all the time?
Would he have seen himself walking with his father in the park,
watching his father's tall shadow and wanting to be exactly like him
when he grew up?
Would he felt his father's hand ruffle his hair in uncontrollable
affection every time he passed by?
Would he have seen the glow of pride in his father's eyes as he
spoke to his colleagues about his son's first baseball game at
Would he have heard his parents go down on their knees every day
and ask the Lord to give them his every pain, his every sorrow, his
every illness and take away all their happiness and give it to him
Would he have seen the blue eyes of his beloved and the way she
looked at him on the day they fell in love?
Would he have thought of the blue sky and the sunlight through
the leaves as they met in the woods?
Would he have heard the chiming of the church bells and the
thumping of his heart on the day his beloved became his wife?
Would he have seen his head against his pregnant wife, listening
to the little beat of his child's heart?
Would he have felt pride and unbearable love threatening to burst
through his chest as he looked into the blue eyes of his newborn
Would he have seen the tiny fingers of his son in his own,
fingers he would never feel and hold again?
Would he have seen his son launching himself into his arms and
his heart when he came back from work every day?
Would he have thought of his tiny son and how much he had wanted
to do for him and never got the chance to do it?
Would he have thought of the words that remained unsaid all his
Would he have thought of saying to his parents "I know we've not
hit it off always, but given the choice, I would rather be born to
you again than anybody else?"
Would he have thought of the harsh words he had spoken to his
wife and of begging her forgiveness and washing away her hurt and
tears with his own?
Would he have thought of how much he loved life, how much he
loved all of mankind, how much he loved the earth and the snow and
sun and mountains and the green grass and the dew under his feet?
Would he have thought of doing all those things that were left
undone, and saying all the words that were left unsaid, if only God
gave him one more, just one more day to live?
And then the plane grew bigger and bigger in his window and a
madman came out of nowhere and blew his life and his dreams to
smithereens and never even told him why